"Me Time"

I need some ME time. How often have you heard that? I remember the first time I heard another wife say that. As a newlywed, with my adorable little pregnant belly, I couldn't IMAGINE not wanting to spend time with my husband! Now, fast forward 10 years to last weekend. I IM'd my husband from work to inform him that I'd hired a sitter for the evening. I also informed him that we'd be going out for sushi, and that I'd had this night planned all week. Why didn't I tell him, you ask? Well, because we hardly get a chance to talk some days! With four baseball games, dance class, two church events, doctor appointments, and work, where does communicating fit in? But really, (and no offense to my man) the night really wasn't about me having time with him. I just needed a break from the kids, the house, the mess, the laundry, the dishes, the list that goes on and on! I wasn't looking to "reconnect" or "rekindle" or for any romance in any way, shape or form...I just wanted to get OUT! Boy, that really sounds awful. It's okay. I admit it.

Getting Ready for Christmas

During dinner last week, I casually asked the kids, "Whose birthday are we celebrating on Christmas?" The long, dramatic pause answered my question. I thought I was doing better than this! "Santa?" replied Sarah. "God?" answered Joey. "Close." I said. And I knew I had some work to do...

Last year at this time, we were participating in a program called LOGOS at Home, and we did a few creative ideas to help the children realize that Christmas is not just about getting presents (really?!)...this year we would take what worked last year and tweak it a bit to match the growing needs of our family.

We created an Advent "chain". Remember back in elementary school when you cut strips and tape them together to form a circle, then link them in to a chain, usually in a pattern to decorate the classroom? It is exactly that, but with a surprise inside each link! Every day you remove a link from the chain and open it to reveal the special activity for that day. As the chain gets shorter, Christmas gets closer! There are 24 links in all, and marked accordingly (24 down to 1) and they all connect to a picture of baby Jesus.

Now, you can be creative with this. Last year we chose red and green links. Joey opened red days and Sarah opened green days. This year, I felt like red and green gave too much of a "Santa" connotation, so I stuck to the royal blue and each number is written on a gold star shape. It's really very pretty.

We began by making a list together of the kinds of things we can do to make other people feel happy, and some of our favorite things to do together as a family. One of the very LAST activities is to actually make a birthday cake for Jesus, which is the perfect dessert after Christmas dinner. The kids REALLY enjoyed this one last year, and it helped everyone (adults included) to really reflect on the meaning of the day, after all the hustle and bustle and wrapping paper flying everywhere.

For our family, we have a number of extended family members who live a far distance from us, so we try to make sure we include them somehow in our daily activities. We open the links in the evening, usually around dinner time, and then we try to complete the activity that evening.

In reality, life is very busy, so there are definitely days that we have to postpone an activity, or when we still have 2 left to complete. Here is the list that the kids and I developed together this year (in no particular order). We will begin on Wednesday, December 1st.

1. Learn to say "I love you" and "Merry Christmas" in a different language. Each of my kids wants to learn it in a different language and that's okay! Remember American Sign Language is always an option. 
2. Take a Christmas treat to a neighbor. This began as "bake cookies for a neighbor", but like I said...we tweaked this year. A "treat" might be just a nice note, or a couple of brownies. It's really about loving thy neighbor.
3. Bake cookies with Grandma. This is one of my kids' favorite activities to do ANY time of the year. Poor Grandma, last year, didn't get a warning and we pulled her "link" on the second day! She was a great sport, though. We managed to bake something quick.
4. Send a message to Nana. Now, our Nana lives 500 miles away, in Connecticut. Joey has already said he's going to email her, and Sarah of course wants to draw a picture. Being flexible is the key. And again, teaching them to show love in their own creative way.
5. Have dinner together as a family. At our house this is common, but I can easily see how soccer, dance, scouts, church, etc. get in the way. For some families this might be a hard one (so a good one!), but for ours, this is a pretty easy one. We included it to express to the kids how important it is for us to spend that short time together every day.
6. Make an ornament for someone special. 
7. Learn a new prayer. I love this one! I was raised in a house where you said the same exact prayer in the same way every night for your entire life. Our kids have a repertoire of about 5-6 prayers that they rotate through. Just a few days ago, when 7-year-old Joey couldn't decide which prayer he wanted (it was his turn to be the "Prayer Picker"), we encouraged him to just fold his hands and say thank  you to God for the food on our table and anything else he wanted to add. It worked! 
8. Make a CD of our favorite songs to share with our best friends. This came as a result of us receiving a CD from Joey's best friend of all of his family's favorite car songs. We decided to reciprocate. I'm hoping it can be done relatively quickly. If we can't get it completed, at least we can make a list of what songs we want on it.
9. Make breakfast in bed for Dad. This one was all Joe. LOL.
10. Have dinner with Grandma & Papa. These are my parents, and they live close by. We see them frequently, but it's usually dropping off a kid or picking one up. We rarely stay for dinner, or invite them to our house for a meal. Grandma has been asking for this, so we squeezed it in. 
11. Make a helping hands wreath. This idea came from a teachers' website. The project is to trace and cut our hands, and glue them on to a paper plate, with the circle cut out of the middle like a wreath. Using old magazines and scissors, cut out pictures that represent the types of things you can do to help at home, i.e. a picture of socks might mean "I pick up my clothes", or a picture of shoes might mean "I put my shoes away", etc.
12. Draw a picture of our family. We ALL drew a picture last year, Mommy and Daddy included, and we hung all 4 pictures on the wall in the dining room throughout the Advent season. It was so sweet to look at.
13. Donate food to the food bank. This one is a little over my kids' heads, but we have a donation box at our church, and a regular donation Sunday, so it will be easy. I just have to explain it well. That's another story! LOL.
14. Make a list of things that we are thankful for. This began as "things that make us feel happy", which would also be totally worth it, but we've been struggling at night during our bedtime prayers with thinking of something that we can be thankful for from our long day. So, again I tweaked.
15. Dance in the kitchen. This is one of my kids' favorite activities and it's one that we can all do together...from baby all the way up to Daddy. We can just be goofy and silly and dance to whatever they choose on the radio, but it's all about making the MEMORIES for them, and spending quality time together. Don't be a wallflower!
16. Bake Christmas cookies. I know we already baked with Grandma, but it's Christmas, right? So we can bake more than once! Plus I already signed up for 2 cookie exchanges. I'm going to need some help!
17. Read a book as a family. I'm not sure how we're going to do this, but my first thought is that each kid could choose a book for Mommy or Daddy to read to the crew, or we could encourage them to read to us. Hmmm...
18. Play a game together. Stolen from the classic "game night".
19. Watch a movie together. I originally put "Christmas Movie", but opted for any movie. Again, it's about being together.
20. Decorate our Christmas tree. It has to be done anyway, so why not include it? I'm all about keeping it as simple as possible. ;)
21. Call Grammy & Doc. These are my husband's parents. It's always a treat for them to talk on the phone...and by "them" I mean the kids and the grandparents. LOL. 
22. Make a card for your Godparent. A sweet gesture. We want to make sure the kids know who their Godparents are (they all have different sets), and that they play a special role in their lives.
23. Learn a new Christmas song. Based on tonight's dinner conversation, I imagine this might turn in to "make up your own Christmas song" which, in my house, will inevitably end up with the words "poop" and "fart" in it. LOL. But...we'll cross that bridge when we come to it!
24. Bake a birthday cake for Jesus. You might want this to happen 2 or 3 days before Christmas. Baking a cake on Christmas eve might throw me over the edge. There's usually a lot going on that day. But the results are wonderful!

I hope you might be able to take some of these ideas and try them for yourself and with your families.  Be flexible and creative, and remember to keep it simple, otherwise it will become a chore, which is exactly what we DON'T want. :)

I'll keep you posted on the progress as we prepare our hearts and homes for Christmas. Pictures to come soon!

Is this how she sees it?

Playing dolls with Sarah on the living room floor. In this episode, the role of "Daddy" will be played by Woody from Toy Story. The role of "Sarah" will be played by Strawberry Shortcake, and the role of "Mommy" will be played by Barbie (yeah, that's right, Barbie. You know you're jealous!)

"Daddy" is lying in a miniature baby doll bathtub, which is his "recliner".

Strawberry Shortcake: "Daddy, Daddy! Can I sit with you?"
Woody: "Outta the way. I can't see the TV."
Strawberry: "Mommy! Daddy won't let me sit with him!"
Barbie/Mom: "Whaddya want? I was tryin' to sleep. You woke me up!"

Serously?! SERIOUSLY?! When have I EVER taken a nap???

I will now resort to Rule #1 (Have a sense of humor.) and go take a pill. LOL. j/k ;)

Disclaimer

I'm Betsy. Mom of three, full time teacher, and wife extraordinaire. LOL. Most days are good, some are not, but I try to make sure that they are all filled with love. Certainly that sounds cliche', but it's true. It's overwhelming to take care of three young children.

Joey is our oldest. At 7 years old, he is a very bright boy that never stops thinking. He is less interested in sports, and more interested in how things work. Our middle child is Sarah, age 4 1/2. Sarah is a very sweet-natured child. She has a strong mothering instinct and spends most of her time competing for our attention. Sydney is the baby of the family. She is 14 months old and has entered the toddler phase.

My husband and I, along with the children, have had some major changes this year. I have spent the last year at home full-time with the kids, and he working and traveling for work. Over the summer, we made a complete role reversal, and I decided to rejoin the workforce (let's face it - one year off was just a taste of being a SAHM) and he is now home with the girls, playing chauffer driver, chef, nurse, and housekeeper.

It's been different. Good, but different. We are all adjusting. I am enjoying my new job immensely, as a full time Education Coach in Pre-K. This role allows me to move between nine different *wonderful and amazing* classrooms, and support the teachers, keeping them on their A-game, and always on top of the curriculum. It's a fantastic program, with some really incredible teachers, children and families. I really can't say enough good things.

We are also very involved with our church family, and with the Children's Ministry and Preschool programs there. Again, wonderful programs. With all of these experiences, I spend a LOT of time with young children, and have developed the following list of requirements necessary in order to work with/live with young children:

1. Have a sense of humor. If you don't have a sense of humor, then you will need #2.
2. A box of Kleenex. Just in case you forget to have a sense of humor, you will undoubtedly end up in tears, thus requiring a tissue. :)
3. A pre-paid card to Starbucks. AKA "Refeuling". Caffeine is a must. Their energy is everlasting. Yours must be too, or you will be trampled. 
4. A change of clothes. Boogers, paint, spit, food, drinks, vomit, pee...you name it, and it will end up on your clothes. Which leads me to #5. 
5. The stomach of steel. You will witness, see, smell, touch, and possibly even taste (eewwww!) the aforementioned bodily fluids. You can't join in the fun. Be ready to clean it up. HAHA!
6. Baby wipes. Nuff said. These things should come with a belt attachment.
7. The understanding that while you think you are in charge, you are actually not in charge. ;)
8. Be flexible. Plans are going to change.
9. Keep it short & sweet, and be CLEAR! Young children cannot comprehend negative commands (ex. "Don't run!"), and will stop listening past 7 words, (ex."Please don't hit  your sister in the face with your sticky hands and then wipe them all over my carpet, because I will now have to call for a carpet cleaning service and your sister needs a bath, and you are...blah blah blah!" They lost you.)
10. Be a good LISTENER. Kids are people, too. ASK them why they are doing something. ASK them if they want a red popsicle or an orange popsicle. ASK them if they would like to help you by carrying a bag. ASK ASK ASK. 

Of course this list is not exhaustive, but these are the thoughts off the top of my head.

Which leads me to...my guilty pleasures. Okay, I admit it. I'm a Facebook addict. And most of my posts consist of funny things my kids have said or done. At the request of many FB friends...I've decided to blog. Not only because I want to share, but I don't want to forget anything! Life is hectic, and there's no way I'll ever write it all down. Even if I did, I can guaran-damn-tee you I'd lose the notebook within a week! (That's why I have Sarah - she can find anything for me, including my purse LOL- which I lose on a daily basis.) And I have a TERRIBLE memory. Terrible. Simply terrible. I can't remember what I had for dinner last night. LOL. So, this way, I will (hopefully) be able to capture some of those memories and funny stories of our family during this crazy-hectic-upside down-amazing-wonderful-tiring time of my life.

Enjoy!